Jennifer Aniston Donates For Me
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux sent out a joint holiday card this year (see it here on perezhilton) just to let everyone know they’re together and she’s over Brad Pitt just like she was over him when she dated Vince Vaughn, Gerard Butler, and John Mayer among a host of others.
I don’t know if the return address was their suite at the Sunset Towers Hotel where Jen’s dropping $60,000 to rent for three months or one of the condos she owns in New York. Jen and Justin consider themselves bicoastal and that does not involve capital letters or acronyms from any organization associated with Chaz Bono–it merely indicates they divided their time between NY and L.A. (is there anything in between even worth mentioning?).
Jennifer has donated to the “St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and Best Friends Animal Society” in my name. (Is that all one group? If so, how do the children do “research” with the animals? I hope no tails are being pulled.)
Thanks Jennifer Aniston for donating for me. I’m sure her card is just stuck in the mail and I’ll be getting it shortly or it could have been ripped off by a neighbor if left in the wrong box, it happens.
The card is red and embossed on some kind of cowhide or other leather, maybe it’s just the lighting. Looks like something you’d saddle your horse with if it were a little larger.
The next time you want to donate “in my name”, Jen, could you run it by me first? I appreciate that Jennifer Aniston donates for me, but there are some causes I’d rather not be associated with, and it just gives me a creepo feeling that my name could be on a givers list at the Downtown Men’s Shelter and Recidivist Prisoner Center and possibly someone there could look up my address and personally come over to thank me and ask for spare change to assist his buddy with a heart operation.
Otherwise, thanks for the gesture, Jen and Justin. The next time you send me an embossed card, will it be engraved on white stationery with doves and the names of your parents asking for the pleasure of my company at something? Not that there’s any rush, but you’ve been dating a while, Jen’s 42, and she has to start thinking about next year’s holiday card if you’re not the one, Justin.